Oh Canada, home of the oxymoron.

Well the thing is I come from a land of oxymorons. Canadians don't even have to think about it, in Canada almost everything is an oxymoron. We have a political party called the Progressive Conservatives, who are clearly confused. We're under the wing of Great Britain. In Canada an eloquent silence is oddly appropriate. We have genuine imitation free health care, given to us by Government service. We have mild enthusiasm for the winter months, and are quick to adopt a numb feeling in sub zero temperatures.
We are however vaguely aware of virtual reality, and can make haste slowly on icy roads.
When things go wrong in Canada, it's a mild crisis.
Our military are known as peace forces.
We practice safe sex.
Due to government organization, most of us have to take working vacations, and we take cold comfort in the business ethics practiced in our country.

Is it any surprise that we can be positively cynical.

Last but not least our favorite magazine Canadian Living is its own special kind of oxymoron known only to Canadians.